Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Another one down, who know's how many to go.

So its Sunday, April 1st, April Fool's Day. I'm on my way back home after spending the day helping a buddy out, and I get a phone call. It's my father-in-law. He says to me, "Hey, your wife hit a deer on such & such street. I ask if everyone is ok, and he says her arm is bleeding. My mind is racing and wondering what I'm going to do still being 15-20 miles away from home. So of course I ask how bad is it. He states that it's pretty bad.

Now, I'm thinking, how the hell does she hit a deer on this road, and its this bad. And how the hell does she cut only her arm...was she trying to give the deer a high five? I sit there in silence, thinking, (occasionally a few swear words roll off the tongue). Finally, I ask "Are you B.S.'ing me? Is this an April Fools Joke?" Then I hear a loud audience of laughter in the background and I started to steam. After a few minutes of profanity, and name calling to my father in law, I couldn't believe he would do that. Talk about tempting some fate, eh? I told him to expect what he did, back...and twice as bad. So I finally get back home and go out to my father in laws house and share a few laughters with him, and just pretend to be suspicious after a few minutes. Right before I was about to leave, he kept asking me what I did. I just laughed and said nothing. I could tell it was starting to bother him as I really didn't do anything, but played it off like I did. And then came the sample of what he'll be getting. His youngest daughter was upstairs getting ready to go out, and her boyfriend was in the room with her just hanging out waiting until she got done. After I went up there to say a quick hello, I came back downstairs and waited for about 5 minutes. I then started "feeding" my wife a fabricated story (which she even thought was true). I also made sure I was telling the story loud enough for my father in law to hear. So I begin saying to my wife, "Wow, I can't believe your sister is allowed to have boys in her room yet." I knew this would set her off on a tangent, and she was hooked for my story. I continued on saying that as soon as I walked in her room, she was just putting on her jeans. I said to my wife, "Geesh, I can't believe your sister would change her pants like that in front of her boyfriend?" Of course my wife started flipping out, and then my father in law over heard everything. So, now I got them both started up, saying "She better not be doing that shit!" The more they were getting pissed, the funnier it got. He starting walking toward the staircase and right behind him was my wife. As soon as his foot hit the stair, I yelled, "Gotcha suckers!!!" He froze in his steps, and I could see his face getting red. He looks back at me and says, "You son of a bitch!" I broke out in laughter, and told him, "See, doesn't feel so good, does it!" Justification at it's best.

Unfortunately for my father in law, I'm not done yet. As was once quoted, "I have not yet begun to fight!" Hopefully, he'll get the message not to mess with the best...I always get the upper hand, damn it!!!