Thanks for nothing Hallmark...

So my wife asks me the other day when Easter is. My reply to her not only got me an evil eye, but a smart-ass response. So, I began going on a tangent asking her if she even knew what the reasoning behind Easter is. Dead silence. I laughed and said, "See, I guarantee over half of America couldn't even answer that." It's unfortunate that today's consumerism has corrupted every damn holiday. Let me explain...

1)New Years-Party hats, favors, Leis, beads, horns, etc.
2)Valentine's-Fruity Cards, Teddy Bears, Lingerie, flowers, etc.
3)St. Patricks-Anything green, alcohol, shamrocks (and all of a sudden, everyone's Irish)
4)Easter-Chocolate rabbits, eggs, gifts, etc.
5)Independence Day-Fireworks, (even though everyone all of a sudden becomes patriotic [which is good] but only lasts for a day) Flags
6)Halloween-costumes, candy, candy, and more candy, retarded ass decorations you wonder later why the hell you bought, etc
7)Thanksgiving-Probably the only legitimate holiday since it's not usually blown out of proportion (i.e. little decorations, no gifts)
8)Christmas-Do I even need to explain?

So you get the point, right? It seems like there is some sort of "theme" to every holiday...why is that? Who do we blame? Hallmark? Wal-Mart? The flower shops? It seems the basic principles of the given holiday has been lost. Here's my take on the conspiracy...

Unjustified:
-New Years, and St. Patrick's are 2 days that make it acceptable to get shit-faced drunk and party.
-Valentine's and Halloween are 2 bullshit "filler" holidays to make profit.
-Easter and Christmas are probably the worst holidays mainly because the focus has been completely taken away from the reasoning of the holiday in the first place. Chistmas (as far as I know) is suppose to be a day celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Yet, it somehow was lost into a worship of a chubby bastard in a red spandex suit who flies over our roof tops and delivers presents...only after eating cookies and washing them down with milk. And Easter, suppose to be the celebration of Jesus' death, and the resurrection. Again, its misdirected worship turns to a bunny suit wearing cheese dick that little kids get their picture taken with, and these little crumb snatchers get fueled up and stoned on chocolate and anything else that's laced with sugar.
Justified:
Independence seems genuine enough that it's acceptable. American's celebrating our many generations of freedom and paying respect to the flag. I just wish it happened everyday, not once a year. And who can turn down a true celebration without some big bang!
Thanksgiving is probably the one (and only) true holiday left. Getting together with your family, and sharing a great feast. No gimmicks included. Just family, friends, and food...topped off with some football.

Ok, now that I've given my examples, I want to be sure to disclose that I'm not some hate-filled anti-holiday scrooge. I have two kids, and I see the other side of all the holidays. You have to make it entertaining for them aswell. But when is it enough? When is it TOO much? Also, I'll advise that I'm no where near a religous person...not to say I don't believe in God either. But commercialism has raped today's society. I wish things were simple, like they once were, that's all.