It never seems to amaze me how people manage to get handicap stickers. Don't get me wrong...those in need of it, deserve it. But what exact draws the line for christ sake!
So today, my family and I go to the near by Wendy's and I park at the first parking space to the left of a handicap spot. In my few moments of obsession compulsion, I always have to face the window of a resturant...or if no windows are available, I have to sit with my back to the wall. And for the record, any of you "Paid Professional" Psychologists reading this can comment on why one does this...not you back-woods bullshit psychologists! Anyhow, I'm looking out the window while eating my ceasar salad and jr. bacon cheeseburger staring into a daze. I see a car pull into the handicap spot at mach 3, almost blasting into my car. So of course getting a slight temper from that, I watch the "crippled" joke, not walk, or cane themself to the door, but jogs in and proceed to the order line. I start to laugh to myself in disbelief of the whole deal...and continue on with my meal. After about 10 minutes later, my family finished up and started back to the car, but only for the beginning of shock. My wife and I get our kids in their seats, and I happen to look over at the car next to us. Damned if it wasn't the same "crippled" bastard...sitting in his car eating. His wife in the back seat, laying across the seat eating aswell. After help my child with the car seat, I close the door, and looked over again. I see these 50-60 year old slack-asses playing grab ass in their car like a bunch of teenagers. Throwing my arms up and laughing, I make eye contact with the old hag in the back seat and say "oh, ok...they must be handicapped in the head!" Of course they stare at me wondering what that was all about as I drive away.
Well, I'm sure everyone has experienced a story like that at least once in their lifetime. Now to follow onto story #2 about this. Immediately after my dinner, we go to Sams Club to do some shopping. I'm pushing my kids around in a "state of the art (POS)" shopping cart, and of course the cart was full of shit, so it was a pain in the ass to manuver. We got our shopping almost done in record timing...when it happens again. Handicaps... But this one is different...it's the ever so rare old, obese woman cruising around in those electric carts. Just about to grab a gallon of milk from the coolers, I see this lady come around the corner and almost smack right into my cart...and to my surprise stares me down until I move out of her way. At this point, my patience has grown thin. So I did what any other asshole, er, I mean nice guy would have done! Thats right, not only did I NOT move, but I was doing the ol' "date checks" on every fuckin gallon of milk I could get my hands on. Instant glory! Pissed her off to the bone! Now, had she been a nicer lady, and not given me the look of death, I might have moved out of her way. Not this time scumbag!
And to finish up on this entry, I ask one thing. Exactly what does it take to be considered handicapped?? A missing leg? Partially Blind? Deaf? All acceptable. A paper cut? A bleeding AX WOUND? A lazy piece of shit? Hell no!
